Most of my friends are very liberal. Naturally, this is what happens when you have graduated from one of the most liberal colleges in country, when you feel comfortable around people who are different than you, and when you want to be surrounded by folks from all different cultures. I may have a somewhat unique perspective on this election. I grew up largely Italian-American town, and unlike many decades ago, these days that demographic falls into the category of White. Most of my friends growing up were middle-class, a good number came from Republican homes, but it was a pretty even split. Growing up in the 1990s though, the country seemed less divided. I was too young to vote in the 2000 election, but I think that may have been around the time the division was starting to deepen. Bill Clinton's last few years in office were contentious, and Bush vs. Gore came down to Florida, with the fate of the election hanging in the balance for about a month before Bush was declared the winner. Post 9/11, the division seemed to go away. We were very much a united America. People proudly flew the American flag. I remember Al Gore speaking and saying something like, "George Bush is my commander-in-chief" to much applause. But much changed in the world after 9/11, and division once again set in.
When I went off to college a few years later, I chose Wesleyan University. During my first semester there, I thought I had made a big mistake, and considered transferring. This place was beyond liberal. I witnessed people watching gay porn with their doors wide open, there were condoms and oral dams (not sure who uses the latter ever really, but whatever) well-stocked in every bathroom, pro-choice posters everywhere, parties with sexual themes, naked parties, gender neutral bathrooms, gender neutral pronouns, alcohol and drugs widely available... But I found my place there. I found the extremely diverse Wesleyan Christian Fellowship (InterVarsity), the school newspaper where I would become editor-and-chief a few years later, and so many great friends who are my best friends to this day. I loved my four years at Wesleyan. It was the right decision, and I would not change that experience. But the one think Wesleyan lacked was Conservative voices. I think there was a very small group of Republicans on campus, but I never sought them out or considered myself a Republican, being a registered Independent, though at the time very much right-wing.
The first election I was old enough to vote in was in 2004. I was 18 years old, and I voted for George W. Bush. A lot of people at Wesleyan were very angry with me. They were saying the same things about him then as they're saying about Donald Trump now. Racist, sexist, anti-gay, bad for women, unfit for office, unintelligent, makes up words (well, that one is accurate). This was the liberal war cry, and it still is. To be fair, Bush's second term was disastrous in a lot of ways, paving the way for Barack Obama's presidency, but during that term, I learned all about the views that were opposite of mine. I talked with the people around me, I debated with them, I gained better understanding about where they were coming from, and a lot of my views were changed as a result. Ultimately, I went from being against gay marriage to agreeing with the recent SCOTUS decision, even though I hold the Christian view of marriage personally. I went from being against marijuana legalization to being very much for it, even though I don't smoke. I moved further to the left on the environment, on war, and on the death penalty. I don't care if people are naked, and I don't care which bathroom they use. But I held firm on abortion, even when someone angrily ripped the pro-life sign off of my door and cried (literally) to my RA about it. I held firm on the first amendment, the second amendment, and conservative fiscal policy. I learned how to state my views, hear other views, and evaluate the differences.
Fast forward to 2016, and Liberals are doing the exact opposite thing of what I was doing in college. Many of them are surrounding themselves with like-minded people, shielding themselves from differing views. If, instead of having a civil back-and-forth, you try to shut down the other side by calling what they're saying "hate speech" or calling them sexist, racist, xenophobic, homophobic, whatever -ist or -phobic, you are part of the problem. If you are demanding that the University take action when someone writes "Trump 2016" or wears a "Make America Great Again" hat because it's hate speech, you are part of the problem. If you are ripping down someone's pro-life sign because you think that a man shouldn't have an opinion on whether a baby in the womb is a life or part of a woman's body, you are part of the problem. If you are demanding that someone bakes a cake that says something on it that goes against that person's religious beliefs, and if they don't do it, they're whatever -ist or -phobic, you are part of the problem. If you are demanding a safe space and trigger warnings for every fucking thing that might offend someone, you need to realize that the real world is not a safe space! The awfulness of HRC and the DNC, the lack of Democratic voter turnout, the lack of anything funny from Trevor Noah, and the ridiculously transparent partisan mainstream media aside, THIS IS WHY TRUMP WON.
It makes me cringe a bit to have Trump as the President-elect, because I don't like him either, to put it mildly. I cannot defend him saying that he grabs women by the pussy whether it's true or not. I cannot defend the things that come out of his mouth that offend people and should not come out of his mouth. But not everything he says is an insult to a minority. Political correctness has run amuck, and America realized that. But insulating yourself from differing views has run amuck as well. In the week leading up to the election, I had a number of encounters with folks with differing views that ended with me making a good point and the person I was talking with either storming away from me while cursing at me or directing the word fuck at me eight times in the matter of a few sentences and then unfriending me on Facebook. To her credit, one girl who unfriended me messaged me before unfriending me and apologized that she was about to unfriend me, saying that I had been very reasonable unlike a lot others she had dealt with, but for the sake of her mental health, she could not deal with hearing any viewpoints from any Christians anymore. And to their credit, a lot of my more liberal friends had spirited, thoughtful, well-articulated, and civil debates with me on the issues. For many of them, I am their only vocal friend with a more conservative or Libertarian leaning, and they were genuinely curious about my views. That is how Liberals can take the White House back in 2020, not by ignoring, demeaning, and writing off those whose views differ, but by engaging with and understanding them. Certainly not by what I've seen happening today for the most part.
My Facebook feed has been full of very sad and angry people, crying, cursing, saying that half of America is sexist, racist, homophobic, xenophobic, ignorant, or all of the above. Yes, the KKK endorsed Donald Trump, and there are some people who fit that bill who voted for Donald Trump, but we DO NOT live in a nation where half of the people here are any of those things. And we certainly do not live in a nation where the KKK is acceptable. Yes, they're trying to make a comeback. We can stop that by ignoring them, or we can stoke the fire by acknowledging them and saying that half the nation is with them. Fucking insane. Not single person I know who voted for Trump supports the KKK. I haven't heard a single person say, "Hey, you know what, I hate minorities, women, Muslims, and (or) homosexuals, so I'm voting for Trump!" And about Trump inciting violence, yes, he's said some things he definitely shouldn't have said, but it was Hillary's campaign who was caught red-handed planning to incite violence at Trump rallies!
I watched the election results roll in with an Hispanic friend of mine. He voted for Trump. I exchanged messages a few times throughout the night with a Black Libertarian friend of mine. He didn't vote for Trump (but he didn't vote for Hillary either). The first person I talked to this morning was a Brown friend at work. He voted for Trump. The first person who called me the morning after the election was a woman who immigrated here from Italy in 1948, legally, through Ellis Island. She, my grandmother, voted for Trump. Trump is not against immigrants, and I really don't think a wall would solve much, but he does want to clamp down on illegal immigration. If he likes immigrants so much, then why doesn't he just marry one? Oh, yeah, his wife is going to be the first First Lady since Louisa Adams not born in the United States. Trump is not against Black people. I don't know where that notion came from. He wants to make life better for them and for all Americans. I'm not black, so I'll just defer to Ben Carson, Herman Cain, Allen West, and Omarosa on this one. Trump is not against women. Kellyanne Conway, his campaign manager, just became the first successful female campaign manager in our nation's history. His daughters are successful women. He is surrounded by wonderful, intelligent, strong, and independent women. That doesn't excuse his prior behavior. He said a lot of demeaning things about women during his years as an entertainer, and there is no defending his "grab them by the pussy" comments. Sexual assault isn't funny. He apologized. That doesn't make it go away, but we can forgive him for it.
Popular on Facebook today are some variations of saying that if you voted for Trump, to make sure to explain to your LGBTQ, female, Black, Hispanic/Latino, and Muslim friends why they don't matter to you. So I'll attempt to do that, but first start out by saying that they do matter to me. To my LGBTQ friends, this election was a choice between someone who, like Barack Obama in 2008, is not in favor of gay marriage and someone who recently decided that she is in favor of gay marriage (now that it is politically expedient). Hopefully Trump changes his views on it like Obama did, but even if he doesn't, he's probably going to be the best Republican President for gay rights who has ever been in office. Hillary accepts donations to her foundation from countries who are fine with executing LGBTQ people. To my female friends, a number of you voted for Trump and looked past his disturbing comments from 11 years ago and alleged sexual assaults. Hillary discredited her husband's sexual assault accusers and allegedly acted in a threatening way to Juanita Broaddrick, who maintains her claim that Bill Clinton raped her. Bill Clinton has sexual assault and rape accusers on a Bill Cosby level. Hillary accepts donations to her foundation from countries who are against basic women's rights. Neither Hillary nor Trump is a great defender of women. And if you want to go to the abortion thing, that's really a matter of whether you think a fetus counts as life or as part of a woman's body. To my Black friends, Donald Trump has some of the most intelligent Black people in the country advising him. A higher percentage of Black people voted for him than for Mitt Romney in 2012. Under Barack Obama, the gap between the rich and poor widened by unprecedented and epic proportions. This disproportionately impacted Blacks. Let's give Donald Trump's policies a chance. To my Hispanic and Latino friends, I don't know why you're included in this ridiculous graphic, seeing as like a third of Hispanics and Latinos who voted cast their vote for Trump, so yeah, no real cause for alarm here, Trump isn't planning to deport people like you, even if he did make a dumb comment about a Mexican judge... And my Muslim friends? Donald's not kicking you out, even if he fell into the DNC's trap and couldn't stop himself from saying things about a Muslim gold star family. He also said some dumb things about not letting anymore Muslims in but has since revised that. It's not going to happen. Hillary, on the other hand, accepts donations to her foundation from countries who fund ISIS. Trump has no problem with you for being Muslim unless you're an extremist or in favor of Sharia law, which is very anti-gay and anti-women by the way.
Look, I didn't expect Trump to win. I didn't expect him to get the nomination. I didn't expect him to become President. I never even watched one episode of The Apprentice. None of this makes sense. But people voted for Trump for all different reasons. Yes, there's a small faction of bigots who voted for him. But there are those who voted for him because (gasp!) his policies. And there was a huge percentage of working class people in unions who voted for him. That's a huge reason that he won, and isn't that a demographic that the Democrats say their policies are best for? Now the Left is demonizing those very same people and calling them bigots. And finally, and probably most commonly, there are those who voted for him, begrudgingly, because they saw him as the lesser of two evils, because Hillary Clinton was seen as a worse option. And not because she's a woman either. Goodness, if it was Carly Fiorina against Bernie Sanders, I would have voted Fiorina. I would have voted for Judge Judy over most men. It has nothing to do with the existence of Hillary's vagina. If it was Sarah Palin against Hillary, I would have moved out of the country though... Speaking of which, I hope all those celebrities who threatened to move to Canada if Trump won are on their way out! But for those of us who are staying here in America, let's try to get this nation back together again. This division is insane. Trump actually nailed it in his victory speech. It really is time to come together as a nation. It's long past time for that. Let's stop demonizing the other side. I'm not saying to become complacent. If something is wrong, go ahead and protest it. We have that right. Are you against the Dakota Access Pipeline? Protest it. Are you angry that Donald Trump won? Voice that opinion if you want, but stay peaceful and don't be an asshole. This is exactly what you were telling the other side not to do when they lost. But they won in a shocker. That's more awkward than Trump's ride to the inauguration in Obama's limo will be.
I voted for John McCain in 2008, even though McCain was pretending to be more conservative than he really was and chose an awful running mate in Palin (I thought he should have chosen Joe Lieberman personally, or Colin Powell, although Powell ultimately endorsed Obama). I wish he was the 2000 version of John McCain, but he wasn't, and he lost. This morning, I went back to look at my Facebook post from that day. I said I was ready for change. And I said, "Congratulations to Barack Obama! Here's to hope. And hoping that he truly selects a bipartisan cabinet." I'll say that same thing now. I am ready for change. I hope that Trump selects a bipartisan cabinet and chooses the best people for the job, as his advisors, and for the Supreme Court. I hope he can control what comes out of his mouth. I hope he truly tries to follow God's guidance. But this isn't the end of the world, and this isn't a sad day that shows how bigoted half of America is, even if you're upset about the results of the election. Remember that great quote from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."
Be the love. Be the light.